Tag Archive: rant


Per aspera ad astra

Molten lava dripped from what seemed like an appendage, her sneer clearly overpowering the sizzling chorus of liquid rock returning to its solid origin. As liquid rock-turds merged with their whole, the mystery of how this bitch managed to hurl curve-ball after excruciating curve-ball still eluded the beaten man as the smell of burnt flesh filled his nostrils. With an all-too familiar pain from the onslaught searing through his back, he dug his heel deep as clenched teeth held back another vile curse.

Months had gone by without the reprobate rearing whatever resembled her despicable head. Life, strangely enough, was good. Sure, there were some challenges hinting at negativity here and there, but all were met with ferocious valour and duly conquered. For the first time in almost a decade, everything seemed to work out for a man once broken by the World. Until but a short while ago, that is…

I'll have you someday, 'bunny...

I’m not going to mess about, do not intend on appearing to wallow in self-pity or worry about sounding narcissistic when I say I’ve made it through some bloody tough times. It took years to get to, and subsequently accept, the philosophy that I currently try very hard to follow when the proverbial shit hits the fan:

“It doesn’t matter how bad it gets – learn from whatever happened and use that knowledge to improve your life, and possibly those around you, going forward.”

This simple outlook has saved me many an evening destined for despair. Well, that and lots of wine. Yes: things have gotten bad. Really bad. So bad that you find yourself ambling down that tar-pit of emotion eventually leading to depression or something of the like. Yet, after finally accepting the mantra pixelated into existence (for your benefit, by-the-way) in the prior paragraph, it somehow just became easier.

Over the past few weeks, however, Murphy’s hit back with a quite vengeance:

  1. I think it started hinting at coming to a point when my BlackBerry got stolen this past Friday night… I, of course being in denial that she had returned to my life, did not take heed of this little clue.
  2. Apparently these f.ckers phoned a whole bunch of people from my (contract) phone on Friday night, just after jacking it. I was on international roaming at the time. At approximately R10 per minute.
  3. I can’t block the said stolen phone, ’cause Vodacom’s system is down (surprise!).
  4. At the back of my mind, I told myself “all is not lost – I’ve got everything backed up on my external hard drive.” My external drive with everything on it, kept in a protective sleeve casing since the day I owned it, crashed yesterday. That’s 1 TB of data… gone. My entire address book (numbers, e-mail addresses, birthdays), all my music, 7 years’ worth of photos (approximately 5000 photos), all my banking data, all my software installation files, all my updates, all my carefully-crafted VMs for work, all my databases, etc.
  5. My credit card is maxed out after picking up a R12k bill because of people simply leaving without thinking about how the heck the restaurant is going to get paid for their services. No guys, they won’t simply let you leave on “good faith” that you’re going to settle the bill tomorrow or on Monday.
  6. My (diesel) Volvo’s service light just went on. Awesome, eh?
  7. While I’m at it, I hate traffic.
  8. Everyone else around me is so frikken happy, I could just vomit the whole day. Literally. And no, I’m not kidding.
  9. My laptop’s release from Deloitte has been delayed for another day – I can’t work, I can’t access anything, “I can’t do shit.”
  10. I forgot my Starcraft II DVD in it when I sent it in – luckily the game isn’t in really high demand or anything like that.
  11. Did I mention it takes an average of 2 business days for a transfer to go through between two banks? Yeah – do the math on the $$$ that’s owed to me.
  12. Oh yeah, that BlackBerry? Brand new, yet-to-be-insured – just in case you didn’t know.

    Hulk BRAAi!

  13. I’m still single and ever-more convinced that I’m going to die a lonely, miserable death after this weekend. Sod off with your “don’t worry, she’s out there”; “Don’t look for that person, she’ll come to you when the time is right”; “fish in the sea”; “you’re such a great guy”; etc. etc. etc. – I don’t give a crap. Spend a couple of years in my shoes and then come regurgitate all that hogwash in my face again, OK?
  14. I’ve officially ran out of contact lenses. A new set for six months costs over R2k. Yes, I’m blind. And it happens to cost a fortune to see.
  15. I haven’t had a decent holiday (longer than 10 days, if that) in almost 5 years.
  16. Taking that into consideration, I haven’t seen my family for longer than a week in all that time either. Should you not be privy to the fact: we’re a very close family. I miss the living Hell out of them all.
  17. I just tried upgrading my new phone’s software – and that’s giving me crap as well. Endlessly. For no obvious reason. Exactly the same model and everything.
  18. My Jasmine flowers are all little yellow shrivels. Dead. Kaput. Klaar.

Now, I realise this might not be a real post or necessarily in the “calibre” of my other meanderings – but I just needed to vent someplace. I started bitching on faceBook, but decided I’m going to feel better if I just burn this all into an eternal archive via this ‘ere lil’ blog-thingie. Unless Murphy blows up the WordPress servers, of course.

It took some heavy tweaking, but my new BlackBerry ROCKED !..!,

I pride myself on the quality of pretty much anything I unleash unto the World, and hope I can make up for this little shit-fit in the coming weeks. I’ve got a lot of ideas and things I want to write about, so don’t give up on my just yet… that is, if good ol’ Murphy should (for some inexplicably obscure reason) decide to ease up a little on digging her claws into my scrotum.
‘til then, see y’all later.

//teh ‘bunny

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The Piano Man

this man is a legend. i went to see him last night with my folks and sister. first time in the country and the crowd loved him. Billy Joel knows how to make music. haven’t seen my folks in ages either, so it was a nice family gathering-type thing.

my boss (still can’t believe i actually got one of those, ugh) got a hold of me as well the other day. apparently you’re not allowed to rest your eyes after two consecutive weeks of murderous f.cking work and not sleeping enough – never mind the factory fumes we have rammed down our throats every day and the shite we have to eat up from the stupid-arse client. i need to kill someone again. it just makes you feel better… but yeah, i’ve actually got to go and be productive again now.

i don’t even feel like writing, actually… so bugger off and go something else!

well, i haven’t written anything in months. a lot has happened since then: i actually started my professional life, i bought my own place (kind of), the girl whom i thought i would marry cheated on me with a real dick, i overdosed on everything i could get my hands on… life’s been busy.

shortly after my previous post (in january, ffs), i started looking for a job. can’t really remember if i mentioned it before, but i had been told that i have reached the stage where i need to be 100% financially independent. i messed around for the most of january and february while looking for a job. there was many a night that was filled with enough alcohol to take down a smallish buffalo, lamenting my unfortunate position of having no future whatsoever. i enjoyed the last days at varsity where i could just keep going and going and going and not having to worry about what i look (or smell) like the following morning.

eventually i found a place where i started my articles for CA, all excited about the concept of actually getting paid for doing some work (not that you could call an article clerk’s “salary” pay).

ag, you know what? fuck it. i got this in an e-mail today:


yeah, FUKiTOL. so my life sucked. so the girl of my dreams cheated on me. so i OD’d. yippety-frikkin-doo-da. what do you care anyways? why the hell am i writing this? i don’t get paid enough either. bitch bitch bitch, moan moan moan.

moving into my new place today, it’s schweet… 2 bedrooms and a loft, can’t wait to get in there. sure, its gonna be empty as hell (article clerk salary=something laughable, even in Africa) – but at least i won’t have to deal with other people’s crap any more. mmmkay, i should prolly go look busy before my boss (can’t belive i actually have one of those now) shits on me for being tired on a friday afternoon. f.ck.

‘ave a good one y’all. drink too much, your liver dies with you.

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